Food sovereignty: the sharp end

by | Oct 6, 2010 | Climate and resource scarcity

Next time you meet a Transition Towner who wants to tell you that everyone should localise food production, ask him / her about what happens to the following countries:

Singapore, Djibouti, Bahrain, Kuwait, Guam, Brunei, US Virgin Islands, French Polynesia, Seychelles, Northern Mariana Islands, Andorra, Maldives, Bermuda, Puerto Rico, Qatar, UAE, St Lucia, Cayman Islands, Trinidad and Tobago, Aruba, Grenada, Malta, Kiribati, Oman, Iceland, Micronesia, Bahamas, Jordan, West Bank & Gaza, American Samoa, Solomon Islands, San Marino, Korea (Rep. of), Japan, Marshall Islands, Lebanon, New Caledonia, Mayotte, Egypt, Papua New Guinea, Netherlands Antilles, Israel, Costa Rica, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Palau

…all of which have 0.0 hectares of arable land per person, when rounded to one decimal place, according to World Bank data. (In fairness, any self-respecting Transitioner will probably argue back that with the latest permaculture techniques, they can feed a family of four on a parcel of land the size of a postage stamp – although see this post for some questions about those claims.)

More data from the same source: in 1960, the world had 0.39 hectares of arable land per capita. In 2007, the figure was 0.21 hectares – this even after the effects of massive deforestation to bring more cropland into production. Only four countries have more than 1 hectare of arable land per person: Niger (1.0), Canada (1.4), Kazakhstan (1.5) and Australia (2.1).

Data from World Bank

British armed forces to be replaced by the A-Team

by | Oct 4, 2010 | Conflict and security, UK

Currently doing the rounds in Whitehall:

As part of budget cuts the entire Ministry of Defence is to be dismantled and replaced by four soldiers of fortune sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit.

‘We need a leaner, less centralised MoD,’ said Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox, ‘and the A-Team are the perfect replacement. We were committed to spending billions on Trident but these guys have already managed to build us an independent nuclear deterrent using a broken lawnmower, two cans of WD40 and a thighmaster they found in my garage.’

Dr Fox is understood to have got the idea after seeing an advert in the back of Guns & Ammo magazine: ‘If you have an unsustainable budget deficit, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…The A-Team.’

‘We are delighted to be helping the British government tackle their deficit,’ said the new head of British Armed forces Lieutenant Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, adding, ‘I love it when a strategic defence review comes together.’

Lieutenant Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck will handle weapons procurement; the new head of the RAF becomes Air Chief Marshal ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock; meanwhile B.A. Baracus will supply British troops in Afghanistan with essential supplies of milk and Snickers.

To save on costs, the MoD offices in Whitehall will be sold off and replaced by a specially adapted GMC Vandura van with a built in missile launcher that can be sent to trouble spots around the world.

The A-Team have already pledged to resolve the situation in Afghanistan by driving round the country at tremendous speed and blowing everything up. However, unlike previous invasions, they have promised to get things sorted in under an hour (with ad breaks) with miraculously no loss of life.

The team are expected to fly out to Kabul next week, or just as soon as they manage to persuade B.A. Baracus who is currently refusing to budge saying only, ‘I ain’t getting on no underfunded neo-imperialist campaign, fool. Or Easyjet.’

Shadow Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth criticised the government. ‘These guys are a bunch of mercenary criminals and one of them is certified insane,’ he said, ‘and the A-Team isn’t much better.’

With thanks to CE.

Osama Bin Laden believes everything he reads on Global Dashboard

by | Oct 1, 2010 | Climate and resource scarcity, Conflict and security, Middle East and North Africa, UK

There’s a new – if as yet unauthenticated – audio message from Osama Bin Laden:

In the recording, the voice says more people are affected by climate change than wars, and appears to refer to recent flooding in Pakistan.

Um, that’s a slight change of direction. And what about this?

He also called for greater investment in agriculture, saying the issue was “not about gains or losses, but about life or death.”

Since when did Bin Laden get all his ideas from Alex Evans?